“And because you’re a girl you have to prove yourself even more than a boy does warna tumhari shaadi karwa dain gaye’
Hearing these words from the mouth of a man that you looked up to doesn’t exactly sound motivational at all ,in fact you start to wonder,do you actually really know the person you care a lot about? and does that person really actually care about you or your well being or your success for that matter?
By making it sound like its some sort of defect of being a girl, as if its equivalent to being as ‘bad’ as being a handicapped man .It degrades you to the core and makes you feel meaningless as if you have no other reason in life than to prove to other people to get the same chance as a boy would without them even trying?
Yes most parents do tell their kids as a ‘dhamki‘ that if you don’t get the grades you’re getting married.
But when he makes it sound like you were cursed for being a girl and that you will never get the same opportunities as a boy does for any field in life.It sure does make you feel like the liberal non-sexist life that hes trying to portray is just really a facade to ‘blend in’ and make him seem like the better and forward person in society. But the essence of the truth is,saying that you’re not a “mullah” doesn’t make the cut.
Yes its true you are educating your children but do you really have to remind the that you’re spending that money on them? and that if he wanted he could always just leave us and decide to not support us at all? doesn’t sound like motivation to me.
It seems more like adding up to the emotional and mental trauma and stress that children from divorced and blended families already get. Especially when they know that the person they used to look up to the most is actually a hypocritical liar who doesn’t believe in his own views; a bigot.
Doesn’t it keep you thinking that the people you think you know the most might not actually be what they seem at all?
Another problem I would like to state is that , does the sex or gender of a person that you’re friends with really matter?
And yes there is a difference between the meaning and understanding of sex and gender. That is a whole different debate which doesn’t exactly need to be debated on, but to be acknowledged.
As long as you think that , stay as far away from me as you can especially if you tell me that you don’t care about what people think but then at the same time you decide to pull the card of “loug boltay hain” and of course if you’re from a divorced family you’re damaged goods who needs to be kept in check because you have NO idea how “wild’ teenagers can get these days.
Well maybe some children who are going through the same thing as my sister and i are can not cope and be patient so decide to be wild.
However that phase in my life is yet to come- which is probably never
This is because my mother has taught me better.
She told me not to run away from my problems but face them.
Believe me I had problems facing them so instead i just ignore them and carry on with my work ,which works too but it can’t go on for too long and I’m afraid that its soon.
This short note,essay,rant,string of thoughts whatever you may want to call it may seem as insensitive to the fact that some boys may be more hardworking than girls , which is why I’m acknowledging them now but their success is not because they have better abilities than girls but because they are treated as if they do.
I would also like to point out the fact that there is no exaggeration on the emotional and mental stress that is given to children who belong to divorced and blended families.This is not some way to get sympathy from other people but to merely state these problems and to recognize them as real issues that negatively affect many.